The last few weeks have been just horrible. And I was back to square one ready to just give up on everything again like before, only this time it felt worse because I thought id got past all of it.

Falling out with family members is never nice, and I caused alot of tension in my family because of it, but I cant forgive her for what she did because it was an act of selfishness that she keeps trying to bullshit her way out of it and im not buying it for one second.

Im glad I got persuaded into going away this week, even if its only one week its time away from there, those people and those ever continuing thoughts of the past that keep me awake at night.