The last few weeks have been just horrible. And I was back to square one ready to just give up on everything again like before, only this time it felt worse because I thought id got past all of it.
Falling out with family members is never nice, and I caused alot of tension in my family because of it, but I cant forgive her for what she did because it was an act of selfishness that she keeps trying to bullshit her way out of it and im not buying it for one second.
Im glad I got persuaded into going away this week, even if its only one week its time away from there, those people and those ever continuing thoughts of the past that keep me awake at night.
Wednesday, 25 December 2013
Saturday, 21 December 2013
Tuesday, 10 December 2013
Recently
Had an anxiety attack last night. I used to get them often but they were never anything too serious. I guess not sleeping for two days before might have had an influence with this one but it was by far the worse one ive had.
What started as just feeling uncomfortable breathing soon turned into slight panic which became hyperventilating, something id never done before. Heart racing so fast I thought id end up having a heart attack, breathing so rapidly I couldnt speak.
Luckily I wasnt alone as I was with two of my best friends Pete and Danielle at the time who really helped me get through it and calm down. It was quite an intense experience and has left me feeling abit shaken up today.
I still cant breathe properly today though its really uncomfortable and makes me worry I could have another attack. I guess thats what I get for not trying to deal with what makes me anxious...
Only got one week left of uni before breaking up for christmas, which is gonna be an odd one this year as all the family are going on holiday and ive decided to stay down here, it'll be a nice break but Ill be busy enough with uni work over the holidays to notice.
What started as just feeling uncomfortable breathing soon turned into slight panic which became hyperventilating, something id never done before. Heart racing so fast I thought id end up having a heart attack, breathing so rapidly I couldnt speak.
Luckily I wasnt alone as I was with two of my best friends Pete and Danielle at the time who really helped me get through it and calm down. It was quite an intense experience and has left me feeling abit shaken up today.
I still cant breathe properly today though its really uncomfortable and makes me worry I could have another attack. I guess thats what I get for not trying to deal with what makes me anxious...
Only got one week left of uni before breaking up for christmas, which is gonna be an odd one this year as all the family are going on holiday and ive decided to stay down here, it'll be a nice break but Ill be busy enough with uni work over the holidays to notice.
Monday, 2 December 2013
NIght thoughts
Fact isnt what you see
Not anymore, what it used to be
Im flowing in blackwater
To another surging sea
Not anymore, what it used to be
Im flowing in blackwater
To another surging sea
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